In particular, today we are talking about online dating.
We all want to offer our best version, but how do we distinguish when they tell us the truth?
Or the other way around, don't you get to show your real self because you don't know how to present yourself in dating applications?
We live in an era where getting to know each other through a screen is, for many, the first step towards a possible relationship. The dating applications have become the new bar, the new square, the new social space where the attraction begins with a "swipe."
But... who are we really when we're in these apps? And how much difference is there between our online profile and our real self?
In The Net Psychology We talk about this as the "digital": that version of you you believe when you decide how to present yourself in a virtual environment.
Shall we show or sell?
When we open a dating application, we usually choose carefully what photos to show, what words to use in the bio, what details to share (and which ones not). We don't always lie, but we do. We heal. a version of ourselves. Does that sound familiar?
- You select a picture where you look good... although it was taken three summers ago.
- You say you like hiking, but you don't mention you did it once by engagement.
- You put that you love books, but the last novel you read was in 2021.
This is not necessarily negative. We all want to show our best face. The problem appears when the gap between the digital and I real It's so big it gets hard to hold.
Why do we create idealized versions of us?
From cyberpsychology we understand that the digital environment favours certain mechanisms:
- narrative control: online, we can think before we answer, choose every word, every image. In real life, spontaneity gives us away.
- I wish to accept: We want to like, we want to connect. That can lead us to exaggerate qualities or silence aspects that we think might not be attractive.
- Window effect: We feel that we are in a human catalogue, where we must stand out in order not to be discarded.
Risk: relationships based on fictitious versions
When we meet face to face with someone we met online, there is a moment of adjustment of expectations. If that person is little like what he projected, disappointment, mistrust or even rejection may arise.
And the other way around: if you have built a character yourself, you can feel anxious about "not being up to it" of your own avatar.
What can we do to be more authentic while taking care of our image?
Here are some keys from cyberpsychology:
- Ask yourself real questions: What I'm showing is a part of me or an invention? Could you keep this image if this person knows me in real life?
- Choose strategic honesty: You don't have to tell everything, but you can show the essence of your personality without making it up.
- Remember that the true connection is born of authenticity: attracting by affinity, and not just by visual impact, can lead to stronger relationships.
And you? You recognize yourself on your dating profile?
At @ thenetpsychology we help you navigate all these barriers or doubts that online dating presents us to make, finding a couple is a pleasant, fun experience and an offline success. # cyberpsychology # cyberpsychology # psychology # onlinedating # citasonline # single # love.
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